I've changed my name to nico . . .

Hello dear friends,

It has been a long time since I wrote a blog post. Four months and counting.

In fact, the last time I sat down to send my heart thoughts out to all of you, back in September, the US was gearing up for an almost ridiculously consequential election, the world was desperate for a vaccine, and Devon and I were heading into retreat.

So much has changed.

So many of those changes are sweeping, historical, wonderful, frightening . . .

. . . and then there's this little personal change . . .

. . . so small in the scheme of things, it hardly seems worth mentioning . . .

. . . but still it's significant for me:

I changed my name.

I went into retreat as Craig Hase.

And I came out of retreat as nico hase.

What happened?

I'd love to give a simple, linear, rational answer. But the truth is that the process was not simple, linear, or rational.

It was something that developed for me while I was sitting alone in my cabin hour after hour after hour in that liminal aliveness we call meditation.

And that space is difficult to talk about.

But I can offer some touchstones.

First, nico (or Nicolas) is my middle name. It's an old family name. I'm named for my uncle, who died in a car accident long ago. So the name holds depth for me.

Second, Craig no longer suits me. It feels like an old skin I need to shed.

Third, I feel myself coming into some new phase . . . of my life, of my identity, of my work in the world . . .

As my friend the zen teacher Flint Sparks said to me, "Now your koan is to find out who this fellow nico is."

Koans, of course, are dialogues . . . they are coemergent truths . . . truths that are unfurled through community and in relationship . . .

And so I look forward to finding out who this nico fellow is ... and I look forward to finding it out with all of you.

Sending many, many good wishes your way,
nico

p.s. the next blog post will have a look at some of what’s going on in the wider world . . .