A few scattered thoughts on ten years of marriage

Devon and I are celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary today with a trip to the redwoods.

It seems like there should be a lot to say about ten years of marriage. Proclamations to make. Conclusions to draw.

I've got nothing.

But, no, here's one thing: I feel a little awestruck. Honored to witness the unfolding.

Devon has always been a bright light. But to watch her come into herself, gradually, over a decade, to watch her step into that light, embody that light, and shine that light to others and for others—now that's really something.

I feel in awe of my wife: her kindness, her vulnerability, her total, dogged unwillingness to give up on waking up.

It's awesome.

And here's another thing: I'm a better person for it. In witnessing her, and in being witnessed, something is happening here. I'm not quite as dumb as I used to be.

Isn't that beautiful? Despite it all, I'm growing too.

I honestly don't know what marriage is. Because it's always changing. Because there's no map, or no map that works for us. Because we took vows that wedded us to awakening, whatever that means.

What we've got, for now, is each other. And who knows for how long? And who knows, does anyone know, what happens next?

Red bark. Dry pines. Salty ocean breeze. Ha!

yours in the mystery,
nico hase